In 2002 a misdiagnosed prolapsed disk in my spine, left me almost paralyzed, with a partially damaged left leg, and emotionally traumatized. I had to undergo complex urgent surgery to save my back, and afterwards I was in a lot of pain all the time. I was told that the best thing I could do for my back was to stretch, so I started practicing Hatha yoga. Then a friend told me about Bikram Yoga, and how it was supposed to be really healing for injuries like mine. I took my first Bikram class in the spring of 2004. Little that I know that I was about to embark on an incredible journey.
I must admit, it wasn’t easy getting into it, the heat, the pain…….and I was so stiff, there was no way I was going to be able to do some of those positions! Because of a job that took me travelling around the world, I wasn’t able to practice on a regular basis until 2007. Now Bikram is an integral part of my daily life, I practice 5 to 6 times a week, and with the regular practice I have witnessed my body, my mind and my whole life change. I have regained so much flexibility, I am not in constant pain anymore, I am stronger, I have lost weight; in fact I am in the best shape I have ever been my whole life. I can hardly remember that I was almost paralyzed, and my outlook on life is completely different. I no longer work in finance, I have set up my own business and I am living a completely different life.
Bikram Yoga Soho is for me a real community, I have met some extraordinary people here and wonderful teachers who have inspired me to be patient and to persevere, to respect my body and accept its limitations, to practice with integrity and allowing myself to get to my best yoga practice in my own time. I don’t compare myself to other practitioners in the room anymore, because it is my practice, it is my journey. I have kept on coming, with patience and tenacity, I never left the room (ok, except that one time during Fran’s class, but I really needed the loo!), and I have seen that whether we believe it or not, our bodies get there in the end. Now I practice with incredible mindfulness and the class for me is my daily meditation, my way of checking in with myself, of acknowledging what is there to “just be there!” and to do my best, whatever my best for the day is, always. I have learned that you can’t always chose the teacher and believe me, you certainly can’t choose the lesson, because even though the 26 postures sequence is the same every time, we are not. Our bodies and our minds are different every time. Just like in real life, some days are good some days are bad, and all we can do is do live through it with as much presence of mind as we can, without judgment, and do our best, and smile! There are times in which when I practice, I feel that I have gone back many steps and this is very humbling, because it’s made me appreciate never to take my body for granted anymore. But then there are days in which my body is very responsive and I move forward with my practice, and what a joy!
I am now able to do some positions I never dreamed I could do, and I smile at myself in the mirror, in almost disbelief, because I’m mystified by my own transformation. I have overcome a lot of fears in that room, and I have come to trust my body and listen to its silent and wise language, because it always knows what is best for us, and “that” has given me a lot of faith in myself and ultimately in life. It has also made me stronger and able to face the challenges that are out there, because if we can transform and enhance or bodies in the yoga room, than we can certainly do the same for our lives, and if we can enhance our lives, we are happier, if we are happier we are kinder, and kindness is good for us and the people around us.
And now? Well, the journey goes on. Maybe teacher training is next.